Lately, I have noticed that conversations about Fethi the Fetus started to center noticeably around the sex of the baby, usually following a three-question pattern.
First question: "Do you know the sex of the baby?"
Answer: No we don't.
Second question: "Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"
Answer: Yes, we are going to find out at the earliest opportunity.
Third question: "Do you want a boy or a girl?"
Answer: Don't care. Just a healthy baby, please.
Of course, neither the questions nor our answers are so brief. After all, on most occasions the conversation is during a social event rather than an interrogation session. I want to make sure to point out that I wasn't trying to imply any kind of dissatisfaction to anyone's curiosity with short answers. Quite the contrary, as a proud father to be, I am all too eager to talk to anyone about my baby as long as anyone will listen.
The irony is that even if I am willing to blabber for hours I find very little to say. No, I don't know the sex of the baby. Yes, I want to know as soon as possible. Anything else? Not really.
Maybe I can ellaborate on the two benefits to learning the sex of the baby early. First, it'll give us more time to find a name. A name is a tag for life so it is important to give the proper time and attention to finding the right one. But even then we can never be assured that our child is going to agree to the wondrous beauty and meaning of the name which we anoint them with. The second benefit is a lot more instantaneous and gratifying. Quick cash winnings.
A strange phenomenon, the study of which may lead to a PHD for some bright Sociology student someday, is that pregnancy seems to instigate an unstoppable urge for gambling among family, friends, and colleagues. Bets on pools, squares, odds on the sex, attributes, due date, etc. have become practically a tradition. Probably not for Fethi the Fetus but I am sure there is even a line in Vegas with odds on some pregnant high society gal.
I don’t like to gamble unless I have some control of the game. I like poker for that reason. If you play your hand right you can beat chance. Of course, every gambler thinks that they have an upperhand, some secret that, no matter how slight, gives them a certain the advantage for that bet. It is no different with guessing the sex of the baby. I have never heard so many “inside tips” from so many different people.
If you can’t see the belly from the back it’s a ...
If you are thirsty all the time it's a ...
If you forget things it’s ...
If you ...
It’s endless.
I wish all my gamblers the best of luck. I hope many people ante up and the payout is huge. I will quietly watch from the sidelines knowing that I am, afterall, the grand winner. And, $5 bucks says, it’s going to be a baby and hopefully will like the name.
